Despite what some may think, I can’t say that the last minute $50 Miley Cyrus tickets I purchased three days before her concert were grouped in the category of stupidest things I’ve ever purchased. I’m actually still not quite sure what category they belong in, though I will admit, it was one of the more interesting and/or weirdest nights of my life.
As I walked up towards the arena, the stench of red wine, nicotine and bad decisions assaulted my senses and I felt most definitely overdressed. It turns out Miley Cyrus fans like clothes as much as she does, which isn’t a lot. My raunchy outfit (or so my father says) consisting of a crop top and high waisted skirt, made me look like a nun at a strip club when surrounded by some of these girls. Apparently it’s now socially acceptable to go out in public in just a cotton leotard and high heels. Who knew?
The moment Miley slid down her own tongue and onto the stage in an outfit that reminded me of big bird from Sesame Street, I knew this show would be nothing I had ever seen before. In fact, my mind seemed to be on a constant cycle of “what the f*** is going on” for the entirety of the concert. More of a good “what the f***” though. My brain just couldn’t keep up with everything going on.
One minute she has half naked male dancers thrusting about on stage, then the next the stage is taken up by women dancing around with fake bum cheeks. There were massive bear suits, gold cars, bobble heads, a massive floating hot dog and even an enormous bed for yet another crude song, on top of the already ostentatious pyrotechnics, smoke machines and animation playing on the giant screen behind her. One cannot forget what some called the highlight of the night, the kiss cam. Plot twist was that it was only girls eating other girl’s faces. Her elaborate costumes and leotards were absolutely incredible and I take my hypothetical hat off to whoever does her waxing.
I will admit, my discography of Miley Cyrus on my phone starts with the Hannah Montana soundtrack and ends with her 2008 album “Breakout,” that consists of probably the best songs in music history (7 things will always be my jam). So, my thoughts and feelings towards her concert will be worlds apart from those of the girl I went to primary school with, who is absolutely obsessed (I know this via her Instagram). However, although the only songs I knew were not performed until the two encores (Wrecking Ball, Can’t Stop and Party in the USA), those encores, were the best encores I’ve seen in my life. Forget the fact that Party in the USA has been my number one song since I was twelve, it was an outrageous and fun filled performance (and one of the only ones I stood up for, oops).
I’ll leave you with this, Miley Cyrus, whilst a little bit crazy to some, and most likely high on God knows what 80% of the time, does perform a fantastic show. If you’re attending a Miley show any time in the future, I prescribe minimal clothing, three vodka shots and a church service the next morning. You’ll need it.