Last weekend myself and 37,000 people descended on the North Byron Bay Parklands for this year’s Splendour in the grass music festival. Whether you’re a veteran or newbie, Splendour is sure to throw a doozy at you, leaving a thought of “I really should have thought about this earlier.”
So after my second year, here are ten things both my splendour crew and myself wish we knew before we set foot on the Byron bay parklands.
- Never and I mean NEVER let a friend (or their mum) pack the tent without your supervision. Apparently the chances are pretty high that they’ll forget the poles.
- Wog families/mafia are crazy. Don’t stress when said wog best friend forgets the tent poles, you’ll have a brand new tent (poles included) delivered from second cousin Al within the hour.
- Guard your mixers like you would your alcohol. Sometimes it’s even your friends with sticky fingers. Ross I’m looking at you.
- A mosh is not for the faint hearted. Don’t believe your friend when he asks you to bring the crew up to him in second row and that it’ll “be easy.” It won’t. Bella will be choked by her body chain and Jamile will have to rip it off so she doesn’t die, Fraser will think he’s bigger than he is in the ring of death, and one lovely lad called Sean will single handily have to save the lives of you and two other girls.
- Don’t wear crocs in said mosh. This I already could have gathered pre-splendour, my brother however has only gathered this post broken toe.
- Don’t try and re-pierce someone’s nose. Vodka is not a sterilising agent and it will get in her eye/ result in an infected nose. Sorry Kaitlin…
- Don’t let your mate use your air mattress for a late night romp with your little sister’s friend. He will leave you a present you don’t want in the morning, even if he did attempt to clean it.
- Maybe don’t post everything to your Snapchat story. I sincerely apologise to my snapfam who received 80 seconds worth of me eating a burger. Can vouch that it was a good burger though.
- Always lock your tent at night. Otherwise you may find yourself with a strange and crazy man jumping into your tent at many hours of the morning crying about someone’s shoulder (I was half asleep during this so not quite sure what happened with the shoulder…). The worst part was the fact we knew said crazed male…
- It’s always a good idea to ask the age of someone pre-mosh-kiss. If not you may find yourself trying to tell the crew that it was okay you just kissed a 15-year-old girl. All was well though, she didn’t seem to mind when Nick licked her nose instead of her mouth.
Whilst I may be on the verge of death-by-festival-flu, last weekend was easily one of my favourite memories of all.
Thank you to my Splendour crew and surrounding campers for the lols.
Thank you to Grilld for supplying aforementioned Friday night burger.
And lastly thank you to Flume for making my brother cry.
Until next year Splendour!